By DEREK P. GILBERT
May 24, 2008
THE LONG, COOL spring we’re enjoying here in central Indiana got me thinking about global warming — excuse me; I mean, “climate change” — the other day. It struck me that regardless of who wins the election in November, we’ll have a president who believes that humans are principally responsible for fluctuations in temperatures around the world. All three of the remaining candidates have promised to do something about that.
Not wanting the responsibility for such an awesome task in the hands of an ideologue likely to act on faith instead of reason, I humbly submit my name for consideration as the first Climate Czar of the United States.
Why not? I already lead a greener lifestyle than the Nobel Prize winning prophet of climate change, Al Gore. I figure if he’s good enough to win a Nobel Prize, then I’m qualified to direct the country’s response to imminent climatological disaster.